Everything's gonna be fine, love. You're going to be a tattoo artist, I though? (If you are, I will seriously fly from MI to wherever you are to get one from you.) You are so talented! Just because you didn't do "enough" in college doesn't mean you're done! Keep working! Do some freelance design work, maybe. And you created your own website so you could do some of that, maybe. Don't limit yourself *now* either, by thinking you've missed all of your opportunities! You can do it, Bailey! :D *hugs*
awh, thanks. i’m not sure what i’m gonna do with my life after school. i do want to learn how to tattoo, and i also want to do so many other things. there’s so much to learn and see!
i don’t feel like i haven’t done “enough” at all, really. i work my ass off. i work harder than a good amount of people here. i’ve created tons and tons of work and plenty of things i’m proud of. i do piles of freelance stuff on the side. i’m plenty busy, haha. almost too busy, i sometimes think.
i’m not trying to limit myself in any way. i’m trying to do every possible thing that i can and use every resource my school has while i can. i’m taking three studio classes next semester, two academics, and an independent study. i’m trying to escape my limitations as much as possible.
it’s more that i kind of wish i’d chosen a different major… sometimes i feel that being put in this little photography box has quelled my inspiration and passion a bit. honestly, i just hate that majors are required at all at art school. i feel like everyone should just be able to take whatever classes they want as long as they take x number of studios and x number of academics. i’m gonna create my own school. ahhhhhhhhh
but thanks again. you’re very sweet. i just wish i could do more without being pretty restricted by the requirements that my degree plan puts me in!
whenever i post on dA, i am mostly reminded of how wonderful and encouraging most people are, and i am so thankful for that. i would not be where i am today without the support of you guys.
with that said, i am also frequently reminded of how negative and hateful some people can be. and for what? where is that kind of attitude going to get you? why would you ever discourage someone from doing something they enjoy, or discourage people from looking at another’s artwork? maybe it is not your taste, but nasty comments are not necessary by any means.
i am saddened/hurt/offended not by the unpleasant comments that i receive, but by the attitude of the people writing them. i have grown a thick skin over the years when it comes to cruel words, but it does dispirit me when i realize that there are people out there who aim to harrass and upset others with no real reason.
when people lash out, whether it’s from insecurity, jealousy, or purely the desire to be mean, that’s what i find disheartening. criticism is valid when it is constructive. it is not valid when it is simply meant to harm and hurt… helpful critique is welcomed, but malevolent feedback is not. art should not breed senseless negativity, and it should not hold the potential for the artist to be ruthlessly hated on. we, as artists and human beings, should be cheering each other on. art should be able to be the escape we all deserve.
i didn’t watch the VMAs (i never watch any of the award shows tbh, i’m just not interested/don’t ever know when they’re on haha) but i think people need to tone down the hating on anyone/everyone?
not to condone whatever ‘offensive’ or ‘inappropriate’ things might’ve been done (like i said, didn’t watch, don’t know the details), but.. there’s no use for senseless hatred or bashing, honestly. the people at the VMAs are performers and musicians and celebrities, and sure, that puts them in a certain light, we look at them in a certain way, and they’re ‘role models’ whether they really want to be or not. but ultimately, they are human beings. i think it can be easy to forget that sometimes.
i personally think that opinions are fine, and of course it’s okay to disagree with someone’s actions and/or choices. but excessively hating on someone and spreading negativity is pointless and a waste of time and energy, whether they’re famous or not.
whoa for some reason i just had the most vivid memory, totally out of the blue, of the fireplace in the front entry of logue’s lodge in ballyvaughan and the smell of peat burning in it and it seemed so tangible and real that i actually stopped breathing for a moment. damn it, i miss that place so much.
blah, okay. here goes.
omg so i’m really sleep deprived and my mind is going a thousand miles a minute so excuse the rambling here but
i’m just thinking how it’s crazy that like sometimes we can get these complexes in our heads
and i don’t mean like, egotistical ones, maybe complex is the wrong word. maybe i just mean you know, when you think up situations that haven’t even happened, and then you work yourself up about them.
like for instance, say you’ve never tried something before, but you have lots of friends who are experienced with it and therefore you get self-conscious about trying it with them/around them because they all know what they’re doing and you’re totally new to it. i’m talking about anything, anything at all. food, painting, alcohol, bungee jumping, pot smoking, rock climbing, shooting movies, basketball, baking cookies, acting, literally anything
and then the situation in your head can seem so real, you can psych yourself out about it so much, and then when the time actually comes to try (whatever it is) out it’s not even a big deal to anyone else but you.
it’s even worse if you try to play it off like you’ve done (xyz) before when really you never have, just because you don’t want to be the odd one out
it’s just crazy that so much can be built up in your head, expectations you have can be completely self-fabricated, you know? and then how you can dwell on it for so long, even afterwards, when you’re surprised that it was so casual for everyone else? like, example, i’m really bad at beer pong but my one group of friends always plays and they’re all really competitive and good so i never play with them but the few times i have they’ve been totally awesome about it and it’s never as stressful as i think it’s gonna be? i’m the only one who’s making a deal out of it (internally). dumb example but for real
and not even just when trying new things, but say, when you’re supposed to hang out with someone and maybe you’ve been having a shitty day and you’re in a bad mood
and then you think they’re not gonna want to hang out with you anymore because of thoughts you have about yourself and your own situation
it’s like, okay, maybe it’s just so easy to be your worst critic. i think sometimes, at least for me, i can judge myself way too much and impose other people’s judgements on myself before even giving them the chance to react to me
i need to take it way easier on myself, and i’m sure a lot of other people do too. let’s give ourselves a break.
wow i know this has been all over the place but man it’s just crazy how the human brain is capable of such elaborate things!?
i really really really need to spend time somewhere that isn’t MICA and isn’t home. i need excitement, an adventure, something to satiate my wanderlust for more than a few hours. i need time to myself and time with new people and time that isn’t spent doing assignments.
i need fresh air in so many ways (and i don’t know when i’m going to get it).
i really really want to get a cheap video camera because i want to start filming more things. just my daily life, time with friends, things like that. it’s wonderful to watch things and remember them fondly.
who will go adventuring with me this summer? we can go camping, hiking, on a road trip, anything. we can go anywhere and do anything and not have to worry, we can just enjoy little things and big things and explore and meet strangers and make memories and no matter where we go when can look up at the sky and know we’re still under the same sky as everyone and anyone and it will be wonderful! i just want to see things i’ve never seen and go somewhere i’ve never been and share happiness and smiles and love everywhere!